Frustration

This past weekend didn’t turn out like I planned, but such is life. On Friday, my heart was heavy after hearing the news of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Connecticut. So many innocent children’s lives were taken way too early. Even though I know in my heart that God has bigger plans than what we can see or understand, it still seems so unfair. Those precious little angels are in a far better place, I just pray that the family members will heal and find some comfort in these hard times ahead.

Friday also led to me leaving work early and puking my guts out. At first, I thought that the stomach bug (that I have been running hard and fast from) had finally caught me, but I’m not totally convinced that’s what it was. I had major swelling in my ankles and some in my hands on Friday morning, I didn’t have an appetite (at all), I had back aches and cramping in my lower abdomen. After I drove myself home and threw up a few times, I actually started feeling better and the swelling in my feet completely disappeared. I was drinking plenty of fluids and keeping them down by Friday night, so I wasn’t concerned about dehydration and by Saturday morning, I felt pretty much back to 100%...except for the cramps and contractions.

On Saturday morning, I felt (for the first time) major contractions, the kind they tell you about but you have no idea until you actually feel them. I wasn’t sure if it was from the vomiting episode the night before or not so I laid down on the bed and timed them. I was debating on just heading to the hospital to get checked out and after about 45 minutes of timing the contractions (ranging from 5 to 7 minutes apart), I decided to shower and head to the hospital, “just in case”. After my shower, the contractions seemed to be more irregular and just faded back into cramping. I really don’t want to be the pregnant lady that checks in to the Emergency department 15 times before it’s time to deliver and I soon realized that nothing was really happening ( except for me being frustrated and impatient) so I just got dressed and decided to do anything but just sit around and wait. Matt and I went to the grocery store (where I proceeded to buy everything I shouldn’t) and when we got home, I made a homemade Mexican pizza, baked a cake and did 3 loads of laundry.

On Sunday, I was still feeling cramping with contractions, on and off. I went from feeling sorry for myself and overly frustrated to just content that Colton actually has 2 more weeks to cook and I might as well just deal with it. I baked muffins, walked on the treadmill, did more laundry and laid around watching football and movies.

Today I came to work, mostly to distract myself from NOT being in labor. I am still feeling a lot of cramping, pressure and contractions here and there but now know that this could go on for days to weeks (lucky me).  I am trying to keep a positive attitude and remember how blessed I am, but as the days drag on it just gets harder and harder. Nobody can prepare you for this portion of pregnancy, it’s just something you have to experience to truly understand.

To the moms out there who have gone before me, I have the utmost respect for you and to the moms who are following behind me in this journey, good luck!