Posts

Showing posts from 2015

2015 review

I’m sitting here on the eve of a new year, thinking about what 2015 was like for me. As I look back on the past 12 months, I find myself doing a “re-cap” in my mind of events and special moments. Some of them make me smile, some make me laugh, some make me cry but all of them make me the person I am today! What did 2015 look like for me? January After months (and months and months) of trying for baby #2, I decided to focus on my health at the start of 2015. I joined the YMCA. Colton turned 2 years old. This was a REALLY hard birthday for me. I had so many mixed emotions. My “baby” wasn’t a baby anymore and I was feeling lots of crazy feels. I started teaching clogging classes again after a break for the holidays. I attended a Rodan+Fields business presentation and training session in Knoxville. This sessions changed my outlook on my R+F business, connected me with new friends/business partners and confirmed my belief and potential in this opportunity. January 31, 2015

Clear View

Image
I'm sitting here, in a cabin, with a clear view of the Smoky Mountains. Even though I live in East Tennessee, I'm still in awe of their beauty. We've planned this trip for months. Matt's family traveled in from Ohio and Texas to meet us in Pigeon Forge for a long weekend to celebrate Christmas (and family time)! We found the perfect cabin, we made the arrangements, we got excited...and then Colton got pneumonia. The way this past week played out, I really wasn't sure this trip was going to happen for us. We just prayed and did everything we could to take care of Colton and trust that we would be able to make the right decision. Since Tuesday, Colton has been on an albuterol nebulizer 3x a day, antibiotics and steroids. He has had a really rough week (still isn't out of the woods completely) but has been fever-free for the past few days. You know those decisions that you hate making as a parent? The scenario is like this. We're going to be in a cabi

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving day! This year, we get to celebrate the holiday with two precious little ones. It will be Ryleigh's first family gathering and I hope she knows how much she is loved already (maybe she does)! There's been so much controversy, negativity, evil and just plain hatred going on in our world. I know that we've always had these things, but with social media outlets, it's more and more prominent. I'm always behind a day or two (sometimes a week or two) and sometimes I choose to just "not know" what evil is stirring about because, for me, sometimes ignorance is bliss. I choose to focus on what's good and pure and in my immediate control. For me (and many others), Thanksgiving is a time of reflection. The very word "thanks" is just a constant reminder to be thankful. Sure, things are hard sometimes and not every day is a good day, and I could choose to complain about all of those things that don't go right or all the th

Talk to God

We don't go to church every Sunday (as much as we would like to) and Matt and I both are very much a "work in progress" when it comes to our daily walk, but we do our best to share our faith in God with Colton (and Ryleigh, too) in hopes that he will ask questions and grow his own relationship with Him. It's the faith that has kept us going over the past several years. God has blessed our family and He has brought me so much peace and comfort in times that were very, very hard. I want my kids to feel that peace and comfort and to know that that it comes from God's love for them! My talks with Colton, involving God, started very early. As early as when he was in my belly, I would pray over him. Each night, when I was up feeding him, I would pray (out loud) over him. As he grew, I started saying prayers with him at meal times and at night. When Colton was finally able to put words together, he started saying his meal time prayers and then one night started thankin

Mommy/Colton Time

At bedtime, I like to lay down with Colton for a few minutes. I started doing this when he moved to his "big boy bed". At first, I thought it was for him but I'm realizing that it's as much for me as for him. Last night Matt asked me "Why do you lay in there with him? He needs to learn to go to bed by himself.". While I 100% agree that he does need to learn to go to bed by himself, the answer to the question "why do you lay in there with him?" is because that's my Colton/Mommy time. Colton is so busy all day. He never stops moving, doesn't want to cuddle, doesn't want me to hold him and has very little time to stop and have a conversation with me. Not only is he busy, but now we have another baby in the mix so I'm busy. I'm feeding, pumping, changing a diaper, fixing lunch, putting somebody down for a nap, short on my patience or doing a million other things. At night, it's calm and we talk. I'm at peace with all my at

Brother/Sister Love

Image
It's been two weeks since we came home with Miss Ryleigh. Adjusting to a family of four has (as much as I'm afraid to jinx myself) been easier than I anticipated. I guess I'm just really good at preparing myself for the worst, that way things don't seem so bad. The saying "every baby is different" couldn't be more true for my two babes. So far Ryleigh is a great eater (has no stomach/sensitivity issues that we can tell), loves to snuggle, self-pacifies easily and is sleeping about 4 hours at a time during the night. She recognizes Colton's voice and turns towards it whenever she hears him (which is a LOT)! She even gives a small smile when he gets close enough to her. I hope that continues as they get older. :-) I have always known that Colton has a sweet soul. Even though he is 100% boy, he's a very sensitive child and is extremely observant. It melts my heart to watch him with his sister. This morning, Ryleigh was crying in her room and Colto

Welcome Ryleigh

On Tuesday, we welcomed our sweet baby girl, Ryleigh Michelle, into this crazy, beautiful world. I had so many emotions leading up to Tuesday and couldn't really find the right words to express them but as soon as I saw her perfect little face I knew that the biggest emotion of all was love! It all started at 4am on October 6th, when we checked into Takoma Regional Hospital. Part of my emotional confusion came with the fact that I had chosen to be induced again (which I swore after my experience with Colton I would NEVER do again. Just another lesson in "never say never" because you just never know). Anyway, here we were, checking in and getting ready for an amazing (all to familiar) experience. By the time we got up to labor/delivery, settled in my room, preliminary paperwork filled out and IV started, it was around 5:15am. I started thinking about my decision of being induced. Was this time different? Was it going to be easier? Shorter labor? What if it's longer

Getting Ready

Image
I'm approaching week 36! It's hard to believe that we're down to just a month before we meet our little Miss (who still doesn't have a name)! At week 36 I can say that I am feeling pretty good, just tired. Since our trip to the beach, I've been sticking close to home and trying to do the things that I need to do here. On Sunday, Matt and I realized that we are totally un-prepared for this second baby to arrive. At this point with Colton, we had the hospital bag packed, the bottles were ready, clothes were washed and put away, car seat had been tested and was (probably) in the car, etc... As of Sunday, none of that was the case with baby #2. This week I have been able to do a few of those "necessary" things. I sorted and washed all the bottles and breast pump pieces (which made me completely nauseous and realize that I have no idea how often -or how much- I'm supposed to feed an infant). I was able to wash and put away a big portion of the clothes a

Little Miracles

Last night, I was sitting in the baby's room, looking through old pictures of Colton and thinking back on my pregnancy with him and his first months of life. There are days when I feel like that baby is long gone, but every once in a while he will give me a look, expression or a reaction that says "here I am Mommy, here's your baby". I have so many emotions during this second pregnancy. Every aspect of this one has been different. I start to feel sorry for myself as I think of all the "hardship" that this pregnancy has brought me. The horrible test results, the weight gain, the sickness, the heat, the heartburn, the swelling (that has already started) and on and on and on. Then, I go straight to feeling guilty for even having those thoughts. How dare I complain when I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to experience this again!?!? God has blessed me with another precious bundle to care for and when I really think about it, it brings tears and I'm t

He or She?!? Who knows...

I waited (impatiently) for the anatomy Ultrasound we had scheduled for last Tuesday. Every day, I looked at the calendar and grew more and more excited/nervous/anxious as June 23rd approached because not only were we finally going to find out if "it" was a boy or a girl, but we would get to see our little nugget again. The day finally arrived and I was thrilled to hear that our sweet baby is growing and thriving and measuring "on track". Everything, as far as we can tell, looks great. The baby was "shy" so we still don't know if nugget #2 is a he or a she. I'm not going to lie, when we left the office, my first reaction to Matt was that of disappointment. I was looking forward to this day for so long and I REALLY wanted to know what I'm carrying (I'm tired of saying "it"). Matt quickly reminded me that our baby is doing fantastic and out of all the news we could've gotten that day, we got nothing but good news. Not finding

Rocking Chair

Tonight, I rocked Colton to sleep for the first time in months (maybe even a year). He's always loved being rocked but he has never been one to actually fall asleep in my arms. Given his length, my growing belly and our effort to have him "soothe" himself to sleep, rocking him isn't something I've been doing. But tonight, I rocked him. Not because I had to, not because I needed to, not because it was the "easy" thing to do...I did it because I wanted to. I feel like I've gotten so caught up in the fact that we have a new baby coming and I "need" Colton to be able to put himself to sleep (and sleep all night), I "need" Colton to be completely rid of his paci, I "need" Colton to play by himself for parts of the day, I "need" Colton to be potty trained, I "need" Colton to be good in he grocery store, I "need" Colton do this or to do that. It's exhausting. He's 2 years old. What I NEED

Sorting and Waiting

I have officially started a count-down to the date we find out our sweet #2's gender! 20 days to go... I put all of the boxes, totes, bags and baskets (from all over the house) with clothes that have gotten too small for Colton (way too fast) in the living room and had a major sorting session today. It feels like C was just wearing some of those things and when I looked at the tag it said "3 months". Ugh. The saying "the days are long but the years are short" really hit home today! As I sat in the floor going through all of the clothes, I got emotional. Colton was sitting there with me asking a million questions and as I looked at the clothes and then looked at him, I just felt completely overwhelmed with emotions. I'm beyond thankful for the little copper top that sat with me today. Thankful for his growth, his health, his kind heart, his 100% boy personality, his smile, his dimple, his (just like his daddy's) eyes...thankful for him in every way!

20 week "check-up"

On Tuesday I went in for my 20 week check-up with nugget #2. The heartbeat is good and strong and Dr. Goodwin says she noticed lots of movement (taking after the big brother in that area)! I haven't been able to feel significant amounts of movement (yet), but I have noticed the fluttery feelings that come with carrying a growing human in my belly. Every time I ask Colton if "it's" a boy baby or a girl baby he says "it's a girl" but when I ask him if WANTS a brother or a sister he says "a brother". I've been back and forth on what I think and I don't have a "gut feeling" like I did with Colton. Even my dreams aren't clear. I had a dream that we were having a "gender reveal party" and when we cut into the cake, the pieces were equally pink and blue. God has a sense of humor...and is on a mission to help me with my patience! :-) We scheduled the anatomy ultrasound for June 23rd. I cannot WAIT to find out if this

Busy...living

My sister is one of my biggest fans, therefore she always checks in on my blog to see if I have shared anything new. On Monday, I got a text message from her saying that she checks my blog almost daily and there's nothing new to read...she's giving up hope! I told her not to give up, I REALLY enjoy sharing my stories here but I've just been crazy. Her reply was "it's good that you're too busy enjoying real life to write stuff on the Internet". At that moment, reading those words, I realized that I really am LIVING life. I'm a social media fanatic. I spend way too much time on my phone (Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, etc...). I have limited that time drastically this year, but I know it's still too much. Even though I interact on social media, I've really been trying to grow my personal (face-to-face) relationships. Does it take more time? Yep. Does it take more effort? Yep. Is it worth it? Absolutely!!! I love, love, LOVE to share

God is Faithful

It's hard to believe that (as of today) I'm officially out of my first trimester. Part of me is happy to say good riddance, so long, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya...but the other part of me is begging for time to slow down! This pregnancy has been night and day different from my pregnancy with C. Sickness, extra worry, extra tiredness, the whole shebang. I debated on sharing my most recent news publicly, but I thought since I'm documenting my journey of motherhood (of my life) that it's important to share my joys and my fears. I received a phone call from my doctor's office on March 16 stating that all of my initial blood work came back fine but there were some abnormal findings with my pap smear . I thought, not a big deal since I've had an irregular screening once before...but then again, I wasn't pregnant. So, since I was in South Carolina for the week, I scheduled the first appointment I could which was Monday, March 23.

Work & Play Week

This week, I've been in South Carolina visiting my sister and Josh. This is the second year that I've been able to make the trip for a whole week, and I love being able to come here while (two of) Josh's kids are here for Spring Break. While I've been relaxing, shopping and enjoying time away from home, Matt has been hard at work with projects at the house. Since I've really been struggling with pregnancy sickness (I refuse to call it "morning" sickness because it's been all day and mostly at night) over the past few weeks, it's been nice to get a change of scenery. I only threw up once this entire week. TMI? Oh well, it's the truth and I'm excited about it! Monday I actually got back to the YMCA for a little time on the elliptical. I'm excited to get back in a routine once I get home! I've missed my class, the exercise and my friends. Tuesday was a big (for me) shopping day. I don't remember the last time I had a shopping s

8 weeks with #2

Image
I really thought that since I had been through this pregnancy thing before, that I knew exactly what to expect! I thought I had it "all figured out"! Boy, was I wrong. I have never felt this nauseous (for this long) in my entire life. Morning sickness? Try all day sickness. Every meal sounds great but isn't so great coming back up. There are very few smells that don't make me want to go running to the bathroom and I have absolutely NO energy. I don't take one day for granted and I'm unbelievably thankful for this baby, but I am more than ready for this part of the pregnancy to make an exit. Today, I met my new Doctor. A new Doctor and a new facility means delivery in a different hospital from where I had Colton. I was anxious for the visit, partly because of the newness and partly because I've been re-scheduled twice but I loved it. Everyone in the office was professional and nice and I really like my new Doctor. Looking forward to this new experience!

Neal - Party of 4

Image
On January 31 st , at about 7:30pm, I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. This was very happy news to Matt (and me) because we have been trying for quite some time!! Emotions flooded through me when I watched that one line turn to two. The rest of that Saturday night, I just kept looking at that pee stick (aka pregnancy test) to make sure those two lines weren’t going anywhere. It’s funny how knowing I’m pregnant makes my body automatically feel different. It’s like I instantly become more aware and protective. On Sunday morning, I woke up with a smile on my face knowing that I was carrying a little person again. Another little munchkin has entered our lives. When Colton woke up on Sunday morning, Matt and I decided to tell him our news (not that he really has any idea what’s going on or what a “brother” or a “sister” is). In other words, his world is about to be rocked. This was our conversation: Me: Bub, Mommy and Daddy have something to tell you Colton: Huh? Me: You

Falling in love all over again

This has been quite a week. The weather is horrible (cold to say the least) and I've been battling a cold/flu sickness of some sort. Colton has been trapped inside (with a grouchy Mom) and I think we're all just restless and ready for Spring. Actually, we could just skip Spring and head straight to Summer, but who's asking me? Needless to say, this has been one of those extremely challenging weeks. As I sat in the recliner (most of the day) watching the comings and goings of Matt and Colton, the hard-week began to melt away and joy filled my heart. You know the saying "I fell in love all over again" - well, that happened to me today. I watched my husband be "daddy" (as I do every night and weekend) and that has to be one of the sexiest things ever! Super daddy and Colton were flying, marching, dancing, playing guitar and singing songs to Mommy, racing semi trucks, watching racey cars and making dinner. As I watch Matt transform into this dancing mach

January

This month has been both trying and rewarding and definitely full of "new". That's what's great about a new year - it's the first blank page of a 365 page book (thanks, Brad Paisley for that little quote)! I plan on writing a good book this year!!! I haven't been on here a lot lately because I've put my focus on my health (physical, emotional and mental) and sometimes (a lot of times) that happens away from the computer. :-) New Year's Eve was fun. Colton almost made it until midnight. On the one night of the year I am okay with him staying up, he fell asleep! Go figure. On January 2, Colton climbed out of his crib (over and over and over and over again). We moved him into a "toddler bed" and that has been quite the challenge. I never knew how trying and hard it would be to sleep train a kiddo in a bed they can get out of. There are so many emotions that go with it - it's definitely the toughest (emotional) battle to date! January 3