God is Faithful
It's hard to believe that (as of today) I'm officially out of my first trimester. Part of me is happy to say good riddance, so long, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya...but the other part of me is begging for time to slow down!
This pregnancy has been night and day different from my pregnancy with C. Sickness, extra worry, extra tiredness, the whole shebang. I debated on sharing my most recent news publicly, but I thought since I'm documenting my journey of motherhood (of my life) that it's important to share my joys and my fears.
I received a phone call from my doctor's office on March 16 stating that all of my initial blood work came back fine but there were some abnormal findings with my pap smear. I thought, not a big deal since I've had an irregular screening once before...but then again, I wasn't pregnant. So, since I was in South Carolina for the week, I scheduled the first appointment I could which was Monday, March 23.
I would be lying if I said that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me the entire week I was waiting to go back to the doctor. On Monday, I was tired, worried and anxious to hear the details of this "abnormal screening". Long story short, after looking at the cells, we had to go ahead and do a biopsy in order to see the significance/severity of what we were dealing with. I was in tears. I was worried about the baby, I was worried about me. I just didn't know what to do/think/feel. I was honestly, scared of the unknown.
After the "procedure", I wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat (for some reason this pregnancy has worried me to death). After minutes that felt like hours, we couldn't hear a heartbeat. Of course this is perfectly normal considering the earliness of my pregnancy but again, tears just streamed out. With an ultrasound to check on little munchkin, I saw and heard that everything seems to be A-Okay!
Another week went by before I got results of my biopsy. That was the longest week EVER. On March 31, I learned a lot. I had HPV infected cells (HPV causes cervical cancer). From my best understanding, there are all grades of cancer, C1, C2, C3 and C4. I have a C1 which means it's just local and hasn't broken through any membranes. C2 is where is has broken through a membrane but still within the tissue. C3 is when it spreads to nearby tissues. C4 is when it has gotten into your lymphatic system and has "free reign" on your body. So as long as it's C3 or below, it can be removed. However, being pregnant makes it difficult to go in and mess around with "removing" things from the cervix. Luckily C1 is something that is not of great concern and should not grow into anything more significant over the course of a year. We will be able to take care of the "problem" after delivery! The unknown was, by far, the scariest part of all of this!! Praise the Lord for answered prayer.
I didn't realize how much I was worrying about these "results" and abnormal screenings. Now that my mind is somewhat back to "normal", I feel like I can share openly about my daily activities again. I was holding so much in, just waiting. I was scared to share any news because I just didn't know anything! I do know that God is good and I trust Him. There's a reason why I'm going through these ups and downs with this pregnancy. I mean, nobody said that making a human was easy, right?
Something I believe (even more now) is that, if there are things that are worrying you, I invite you to pray! Turn it over to God. He is so faithful.
This pregnancy has been night and day different from my pregnancy with C. Sickness, extra worry, extra tiredness, the whole shebang. I debated on sharing my most recent news publicly, but I thought since I'm documenting my journey of motherhood (of my life) that it's important to share my joys and my fears.
I received a phone call from my doctor's office on March 16 stating that all of my initial blood work came back fine but there were some abnormal findings with my pap smear. I thought, not a big deal since I've had an irregular screening once before...but then again, I wasn't pregnant. So, since I was in South Carolina for the week, I scheduled the first appointment I could which was Monday, March 23.
I would be lying if I said that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me the entire week I was waiting to go back to the doctor. On Monday, I was tired, worried and anxious to hear the details of this "abnormal screening". Long story short, after looking at the cells, we had to go ahead and do a biopsy in order to see the significance/severity of what we were dealing with. I was in tears. I was worried about the baby, I was worried about me. I just didn't know what to do/think/feel. I was honestly, scared of the unknown.
After the "procedure", I wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat (for some reason this pregnancy has worried me to death). After minutes that felt like hours, we couldn't hear a heartbeat. Of course this is perfectly normal considering the earliness of my pregnancy but again, tears just streamed out. With an ultrasound to check on little munchkin, I saw and heard that everything seems to be A-Okay!
Another week went by before I got results of my biopsy. That was the longest week EVER. On March 31, I learned a lot. I had HPV infected cells (HPV causes cervical cancer). From my best understanding, there are all grades of cancer, C1, C2, C3 and C4. I have a C1 which means it's just local and hasn't broken through any membranes. C2 is where is has broken through a membrane but still within the tissue. C3 is when it spreads to nearby tissues. C4 is when it has gotten into your lymphatic system and has "free reign" on your body. So as long as it's C3 or below, it can be removed. However, being pregnant makes it difficult to go in and mess around with "removing" things from the cervix. Luckily C1 is something that is not of great concern and should not grow into anything more significant over the course of a year. We will be able to take care of the "problem" after delivery! The unknown was, by far, the scariest part of all of this!! Praise the Lord for answered prayer.
I didn't realize how much I was worrying about these "results" and abnormal screenings. Now that my mind is somewhat back to "normal", I feel like I can share openly about my daily activities again. I was holding so much in, just waiting. I was scared to share any news because I just didn't know anything! I do know that God is good and I trust Him. There's a reason why I'm going through these ups and downs with this pregnancy. I mean, nobody said that making a human was easy, right?
Something I believe (even more now) is that, if there are things that are worrying you, I invite you to pray! Turn it over to God. He is so faithful.
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