Attack of the Pee

While I was pregnant with Colton, I heard stories about horrible diaper changes where poop and pee attacked parents. It seemed that the worst stories came from the parents of little boys because they tend to spray pee everywhere. I thought my chances were about 50/50 in getting peed on, but now that I’ve been changing a baby boy’s diaper, I say the odds are greatly in favor of the pee. So, for all of you who have experienced this before me, just sit back and enjoy the laugh. For those of you who are expecting a baby boy – here are a few things I have learned.

First of all, Colton is on formula so he only poops about once a day now (as opposed to every feeding) and when he does, it’s usually a substantial amount of “yuck” in the diaper. Naturally, I want to change him as soon as I hear a loud poopy noise escape from him but I have learned that every time I do this, he seems to let out more waste once the diaper is down. I have a perfect example but due to the graphic content I will just say how thankful I am that Huggies Wipes are thick and strong! Now I wait a few minutes after I hear the first initial strike and it is usually safe to change him after he empties his little belly.

Colton seems to time his pees after his poops and during his bath. Even when I know it’s coming, it’s still sometimes impossible to block. We tried the “PeePee TeePee” (only because someone gave it to us). Essentially it’s a tiny cloth that you put over a boy’s weewee to prevent sprinkling.  It is (in my opinion) an absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary product. A wash cloth, wipe or paper-towel will do the same thing. Now I just try to change his diaper as quickly as possible and put the new diaper up over his penis as soon as I spot any new droplets. When I first started, it seemed like it took forever to get the new diaper on and the longer it took the more danger I was in! This is working better now, but it’s taken a lot of practice.

Because I’m getting better at the diaper changing business, I let my guard down and that is when you get hit – when you least expect it. Sunday afternoon, Colton had a really, really, REALLY bad poopy diaper. It was the kind of poopy diaper that I call “full coverage”. I was semi-prepared because I could see the dark around the edges of the diaper from front to back. I got a wash cloth, had wipes ready and a clean diaper handy. Once I pulled the diaper down, I could see just how bad this bad diaper was. I had Colton’s feet in one hand with his little bottom up off the changing pad. As I’m wiping on one end, I hear splatter from the other end. I look up at his face and low and behold if he wasn’t peeing up and over onto his face, the changing table and the wall. I drop his legs and try to catch the pee but of course it’s way too late. By this time, he’s laughing out loud (cutest sound ever) and I laugh right back at him…until I realize that I dropped his legs and he has poop all over him. So now, we not only have pee on his face and clothes but poop on his legs, feet, the changing table and ME. Needless to say, everything got a bath and I learned a valuable lesson – never think you’re getting good at anything when it comes to taking care of a baby because they will prove you wrong every time! J

A final tip we got was to point the little guy's penis straight down when we put the diaper on. In the beginning we did not know to do this (actually, I think we were told to do this, but with everything else we had to remember I totally forgot) and his pee shot out of the diaper and through the sides. I will say that pointing “it” down has been a huge help! After being peed on so many times, it doesn’t seem so bad anymore but I will say, I cannot wait until this little guy is potty trained.