Transition

It’s 11:30pm. I went to bed at 9:30pm. I’m now up sitting in my living room with just the Christmas tree lights and my computer. I’m dealing with some crazy emotions tonight and my mind won’t shut off so I’m typing…

Wednesday afternoon, Colton woke up from his (very short) nap and walked into my bedroom to tell me “Colton nap done”. Cool, huh? Well, he was in a crib when I put him down for his nap! Needless to say, I was a little bit surprised to see him and a slight bit of panic set in. Given Colton’s sleep history, you understand why. Maybe it was just a one-time thing?!? We can hope!

Wednesday night, we went through our normal bedtime routine. Colton said goodnight to Daddy, I took him in his room, we said our prayers, I laid him down. There was no fuss, no crying, no whining (should’ve been my first clue to what was coming…)! I shut the door, walked across the hall to our bedroom and (within 20 seconds) hear “hi Mommy” standing in our bedroom doorway. Oh boy – here we go. After a few trips (for fun) of putting him in bed and letting him climb out, we got tired and things got serious. After some tears and some “but Mommy wait”, he finally fell asleep in his crib (around midnight).

At 6:00AM this morning (about 2 inches from my face), I hear -the sweetest- “hi Mommy”.

Tonight, we removed the front of the crib and my baby’s bed turned into a little boy’s bed. Honestly, I was terrified. I had no idea how we were going to get him to stay in his bed. All the memories of sleepless nights, crying, frustration and emotions came flooding back and I was dreading this next chapter of “sleep training”. I mean we haven’t even got the first “sleep training” step down with this crazy kid.

Matt and I made a big deal out of Colton’s new bed. We let him lay on it while we sat in there and talked to him. We laid on it with him. We played in his room for a while before time to go to bed. Once it was time, we went through the normal bedtime routine. After prayers, I laid him down in his bed. No fuss, no crying. I shut the door and waited. 10 seconds and he’s at the door, turning the knob. I met him in the middle of opening and he shot across the room as quick as lightening and back in the bed he went. After some crying (about 5 minutes), I went back in, laid him back down and rubbed his back. I said “Bub, you’re going to have to sleep in your bed tonight. You’re a big boy, you can do this”. Silence. Sniffle. “Okay Mommy”. I kissed his little head and I walked out of the room. No noise. No door opening. No Colton.

I walked into our bedroom, sat on my bed and cried. I was happy and sad all at the same time. It went exactly like I wanted it to go (and as it should go). I know that tonight was a good night and I know that some nights are going to be way more difficult than this one. But tonight, I needed this. God knew I needed it.

Some people might read this and think it’s crazy to get so emotional over something as simple as moving my kid from a crib to a “bed” but I don’t care. I guess I’m crazy. I hear all the time “They don’t stay little long”. “Just wait until…”. “Enjoy the moments, they go fast”. No, they don’t stay little long. This time last year Colton was taking his first steps and now I have to run to keep up with him (literally). I don’t want to “just wait until…” I want to soak up all I can RIGHT NOW.

It’s funny as I sit here awake (at midnight now) and think back to when I put Colton in his own room for the first time. I couldn’t sleep a wink. I was worried all night that I wouldn’t hear him or that he would need me. As Colton sleeps in his “new bed” for the first time, I feel those same emotions. I guess Colton is handling this transition better than his Momma because I’m wide awake and he is in there snug as a bug in a rug.