Decisions
I know it's that time of year, but I am beginning to feel like Colton is never going to be back to "normal". We have been battling runny nose/cough/mild fever for 3 weeks now. I thought he was better and then I took him to the parade (good job Mom, right?) and the runny nose was right back the next day! Ugh...tis the season.
Last weekend, Matt and I had to make a very tough parenting decision. We decided for me to keep Colton at home while Matt made the trip to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with his family. I was heartbroken because I know how far away we all live and how rare it is for us to all be together. My mother in law and sister in law were flying in from Texas, it was going to be the first time that all of the cousins were together at the same time, I was excited about watching all the kids open their gifts and looking forward to visiting with everybody. It's not fun making that kind of decision. All sorts of worries and thoughts ran through my mind. I was so afraid of hurting somebody's feelings, making someone upset, questioning if it was the right decision and knowing that if we did take him, we were putting him at risk of getting more sick. Anyway, it was so hard. I cried and emailed everybody to tell them the bad news. I was so glad to get the positive responses and the understanding support from Matt's family!
As a Mom, I want to do the best I can at providing for, caring for, teaching and raising my son. It's so hard to know if I'm doing the right thing. I make bad decisions (like taking him out in the cold for a parade when he just got over being sick), I make tough decisions (like keeping him home while Matt made the trip to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with his family), I follow my instincts, I make mistakes, I cry, I get upset, I lose my patience, I question if I know what I'm doing, I sometimes need a break, I get overwhelmed, I laugh, I play, I cuddle, I love and most importantly, I learn.
During the learning process I have realized that tough decisions are just part of "Mom life". I pray that God will guide my steps and I pray even more boldly that I will walk on the trail that he has blazed for me and my family.
Last weekend, Matt and I had to make a very tough parenting decision. We decided for me to keep Colton at home while Matt made the trip to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with his family. I was heartbroken because I know how far away we all live and how rare it is for us to all be together. My mother in law and sister in law were flying in from Texas, it was going to be the first time that all of the cousins were together at the same time, I was excited about watching all the kids open their gifts and looking forward to visiting with everybody. It's not fun making that kind of decision. All sorts of worries and thoughts ran through my mind. I was so afraid of hurting somebody's feelings, making someone upset, questioning if it was the right decision and knowing that if we did take him, we were putting him at risk of getting more sick. Anyway, it was so hard. I cried and emailed everybody to tell them the bad news. I was so glad to get the positive responses and the understanding support from Matt's family!
As a Mom, I want to do the best I can at providing for, caring for, teaching and raising my son. It's so hard to know if I'm doing the right thing. I make bad decisions (like taking him out in the cold for a parade when he just got over being sick), I make tough decisions (like keeping him home while Matt made the trip to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with his family), I follow my instincts, I make mistakes, I cry, I get upset, I lose my patience, I question if I know what I'm doing, I sometimes need a break, I get overwhelmed, I laugh, I play, I cuddle, I love and most importantly, I learn.
During the learning process I have realized that tough decisions are just part of "Mom life". I pray that God will guide my steps and I pray even more boldly that I will walk on the trail that he has blazed for me and my family.
Comments
Post a Comment