A Wild Ride

I’m sitting here putting my thoughts down because it’s a great release for me. Plus, it’s quiet time while Colton is napping – my one chance at thinking for the day! J

I’m overly emotional this week. I have been crying over little things and I’ve just been way more in touch with my feelings than normal. Maybe it’s because the holidays are rolling around and I’m always more emotional this time of year. Maybe it’s because I realized that Colton will be 2 in just about a month. Maybe it’s because I’m a woman/wife/Mom who lacks sleep and I’m just a hot mess.

What I think is really hitting me this week is Colton and this new season we have entered. He is growing so fast. Every day, he wakes up able to say new words, pronounce “old words” better, move faster, jump higher and laugh louder. He moves like a little boy, not a baby – not even like a toddler. He is very determined and observant. He has discovered the meaning of “no” and has started to use it. He is testing his every boundary (and his Momma’s patience). He is entering the dreaded 2-year-old phase. He is polite, kind-hearted, gentle and fun around most people, and I’m beyond thankful for that. I guess ol’ Mom just gets the un-edited version of craziness at home!

Colton is such a blessing. Some days I look at him and wonder how I even deserve to have been given the opportunity to be his Momma. I’m being trusted with the job of teaching, nurturing, protecting, guiding and loving this little boy. Some days it’s easy. Some days we play and laugh without a care in the world.  Other days, I am a big fat failure. I lose my temper, I lose my patience, I get upset and sometimes mad. The good part is easy to talk about and share. We’re proud of those moments. The bad part is not so easy to talk about. But I feel that it’s important for me to talk about the bad too because it’s what makes the whole puzzle fit together.

Kids aren’t perfect, parents aren’t perfect…life isn’t perfect! I feel like it isn’t my job to be Colton’s best friend (though I desperately want to be), it’s my job to be his Mom. It’s not my job to be “perfect”, it’s my job to be coachable, open, honest, willing and loving. I pray that I make it through this season in a way that I can look back and say to myself “ you did good”. If you’re a praying person, pray for this season in our lives – it’s going to be a wild ride!!!

                                                                                                                                      

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